Return of the Peep Show

[CM Punk]

At an abandoned dusty broken down arena

​

The arena remains silent as no one is at the dead company IWT as Christian walks out on stage

Christian poses literally for no one cause IWT OUT OF BUILDNESS!

Christian enters the ring and grabs a microphone only to remember no one is there, so he throws the microphone away

Christian: WELL WELL WELL, DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO BE BACK!

The camera pans to the empty crowd. Then the camera remembers no network has picked up IWT, so the camera quits.

Christian: Like I've said before, this company might die but I'll always be on top. And I've been on top of the world ever since the company started! Whether it was under Britta or Jonathan, I've always remained on top! Now this is a special edition of the peep show and no, I'm not booking another @Dat Kid Vs. @Aids Johnson match.

I'm here to bring back the dead one more time! So anyone that's dead back there, come on out and lets celebrate my success!

 

[Roadster]

[if the crowd existed they'd be going mo bamba right now] Michael steps out wearing street clothes, a Hawaiian shirt and beige slacks. He is noticeably out of shape (he's drank too many RC Colas!). His theme song blares in the empty arena. He makes his way onto the stage of the Peep show. Michael burps.

Michael: Damn! This feels great! Y'know, I wanted to come out here and show my appreciation to one my top upper midcarders. You were a great employee, you always got the crowd warmed up for the headliners. In a way, we both were a lot alike. You and I have held titles, we only have 1 name, we both have seen everything there is to see in the IWT.

Michael chuckles a bit, and looks down at the ground for a moment before looking up at Christian

Michael: But y'know what our biggest similarity is? We just cannot let the IWT's corpse rot in peace! So how about we pour some champaign out to the IWT's biggest necrophiles!

 

[CM Punk]

Christian scratches his head in confusion

Christian: Top upper mid-carder? Your top upper mid-carder? I know you were once in charge of things, but lets not be mistaken. I was the best thing IWT had going, yet people like you decided to showcase Dat Kid, Aids, Alias Antonio, Chris Kaizer, Eric Draven, Farooq and the list goes on and on AND ON!

You showcased all these people when you had someone like me putting on great matches consistently, great promos and EVEN ON COMMENTARY, YOUR TOP STARS YOU SHOWCASED COULDN'T BE AS CONSISTENT NOR GOOD AS I WAS! And look where it got you...

We see the dusty old abandoned arena with no crowd

Christian: We got this...
We got the end of IWT all because Mr. Michael who wanted to so badly be accepted into this company, the Michael who so badly wanted to be a main eventer, the Michael who had the longest losing streak not even in IWT history, but professional wrestling's history!

So you know what, I'll do you a solid Michael. We can have a toast for IWT's demise. But we can't have a toast without our own local drunk, @Aids Johnson

Come on out here with the booze, I know you're hiding a bunch of it back there!

 

[Dat Kid1]

The sound of screeching metal echoes throughout the desolate arena. A fog of dust falls and moments later a titantron is slowly lowered from the roof of the arena. The projection of Dat Kid slowly fades on to the screen. He's sitting in his kitchen.

What in the hell are you doing in MY arena! The both of you are trespassing on private property!

Kid looks closer

Are those microphones in your hands? Are you two using microphones in an empty arena? Are you cutting promos to a crowd that doesn't even exist? This has got to be one of the saddest things I've seen in my life. It's fitting that one of the people is Christian, always popping up for the promo, but never showing up for the match. You two look like senile old men. Two gladiators stepping in to colosseum long after the fall of the Roman Empire, to see if they can STILL hear the ghosts of a dead crowd, but instead the voice of Caesar himself (that's me) descends from the heavens to deliver divine credence...

Kid clears his throat

IT'S OVER!

Kid's voice booms through the arena for a moment.

I've said this too many times to count, I was the first man to enter, and the man that turned the lights out when it was all said and done. I watched Roadie puppeteer a cadaver for several years, knowing that the dead weight of the IWT would snap those strings. Just like I waited for Christian to collapse under the pressure of being a World Heavyweight Champion.

Dat Kid holds up the WHC championship

But that's not all because I took this...

Kid holds up the IWT Title

and this...

Kid holds up the US Title

and that...

Kid holds up the IC Title

these too...

Kid holds up the Tag Team Championships

I own this graveyard and I bought it for cheap too! You see...as much as Michael wants to pretend to be in charge of something because he can't handle the reigns of his personal life and as much as Christian wants relive a career that lasted about as long as a Jeff Shock diet, the truth is the time for that has come and gone. I laid this place to rest at the final IWTMania and I didn't take away a couple of belts, I took away your legacies, in fact I own em. So why don't the both of you get your broke asses in Ubers you came in and get the fuck off my property before I put on my loafers and give you one last memory to desperately to cling on to.

 

[Aids Johnson]

...From the back of the entrance music starts playing, but it's no louder than a cell phone ringtone. Aids Johnson comes stumbling out from the entryway, thousand yard stare intact.

He stumbles down towards the ring, chanting "Irrelevant" over and over again. Aids pauses when getting to the ropes, and elects to stay outside the ring to instead turn and face Dat Kid.

Who the fuck is on the TV and why is he holding Farooq's belts? Is all Aids can say, before turning around, quickly beginning to spin and followed shortly after by a stop to vomit. Aids looks up at Michael and Christian. His red eyes, flush face, and sick demeanor all have turned pitiful, having Aids resemble more of a creature and shell of his former self than anything else. He continues to stare for what seems like minutes, before gasping one last deep breath and pausing to look Michael in the eyes.

Fuck you youtube Roadster, you scummy fucking - Aids belts out as quickly as he can - before dropping dead at ringside. Aids immediately shits himself, while Dat Kid's eyes well up on the screen above. It's hilarious.

 

[IndyWrestler1]

Danny Jacobs comes out and cockslaps Aids' drunken body a couple of times as he comes closer to him and starts to whisper in his ear...

"It was me, Aidstin. It was me all along. I was Solidus on your Twitch stream."

The insider reference shocks the small smelly fat smart mark virgin audience, the only ones still dumb enough to watch IWT. Roadster chuckles and DMs Indy about it on Discord as the screen fades to black...

 

[Roadster]

The screen stops fading to black and returns with Roadster holding the mic..

"I don't get it".