Storyline A New Hope


Oct 7, 2018
The Dark Side Of Your Ass
“I’ve been bruised, battered and destroyed. However, I am still attracted to this, it’s some sort of escape from reality, something I wish I could permanently live within. I’m attracted to the pain and no one can really save me, no one can truly help me cope either. This time away has helped me realise some things that, if I’m being honest, are starting to hurt me and eat away at me. I don’t know how much longer I can sustain this, this lie, that everyone believes. Everyone seems to believe me when I say I am okay or that everything is okay. This is my last chance…”

“Is there nothing else for you that you can do instead?”

“Literally nothing.”

“Have you tried yoga?”

“I’ve been to conventions for this stuff, still no hope nor answer lies in sight.”

“You’re positive that the ring is your last chance of escaping this?”

“Just the dedication required, and the pain of the workouts and well just the pain really, it makes me feel.”

“Explain this to me, is it the only way you feel at all or?”

“It’s the only way I feel, I can’t explain this to you, I can’t rationalise this in my own head but I don’t know, maybe living in constant pain helps me feel something.”

“That’s all the time we have sorry, I will remember where we were and start there the next time.”

The doctor leaves.

I look around as I lie on the leather sofa, my shoes resting by the feet slowly being submerged by the beige carpet, the door softly closing behind the recently departed Doctor. I struggle to remember her name exactly, it’s… I don’t know, somewhere in there I’m hoping. Perhaps this room, covered in soft and comforting features, is my saviour. I could just happily live in here for the rest of my life, there’s a… a-a ummmmmm….. Coffee machine over there and a TV, what more could I ask for. Like honestly?

“Sir, can you please leave the room?”

“Yes, of course, sorry.” I stand up and slip on my shoes awkwardly, striding towards the exit, sheepishly looking at the ground. I pass two men in the doorway, they look sort of… familiar... Whatever, I gotta go shopping.

“That’ll be $19.”

“Nineteen? It says 2 for $15!”

“Sorry sir, but these are the rules and this promotion finished two days ago. It’s back to full price now.”

“Why is it still out then? If it’s out and still stickered up I should have it for that price.”

“Sir, the promotion has ended two days ago, end of I can’t change anything.”

“Whatever.” I thrust the cashier $20 and grab my stuff exiting the store with everyone looking at me. I try and locate where i parked my car trying to balance my bag in one arm and pulling my keys out of my pocket with my free hand. I collapse to the floor, looking around I see this guy in lycra, yanking ear buds out of his ears.

“OI!! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Me? Me? What about you, I was just getting my keys out!”

“Your keys? Just fucking look where you’re going?”

“I was simply standing. I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Fuck Off, you know what you were doing!”

“Yeah, getting my keys out.”

He starts stepping towards me and then walks away. I turn around and see a police car rolling into the car park, figuring this is what caused his departure, I quickly scoop up my items and carry them into my car. Reversing out of my car spot, I jerk forward. Something hit me. I turn around, but they’re already reversing and speeding off. My horn sounds as I slam my arms onto my steering wheel, followed by my head.

“It’s just not my fucking day.”

Keys clatter and scratch against the lock, the door opens.

Great, stupid voicemails. Lets see who I owe money to today?

“Hey, it’s Daniel, do you have your rent yet? Call me back soon!”

“Hi, Mr Daniels, I’m sorry to bring this to your attention, but your check bounced and well... we need payment as soon as possible!”

Just my luck, more people asking me for money. A long list of people want money from me. But they can’t get any. They can’t take what I don’t have, that's just fucking logic. Well, I better get my microwave pizza into the microwave, I have to go collect my peanuts for drilling holes first thing tomorrow. Shit! I forgot to pick up new bedding. The wrapping flies off the pizza as I thrust it into the microwave. What’s the cooking time for this? Five minutes, FUCK!!! I think there’s some college football on tonight.

“Ricky, it’s Brian from Sport Productions, we were wondering if you’d be interesting in letting us film a documentary about you.”