UWF Tuesday Night Turbulence I - Official TTing History

[Chris Dresdon]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0jpwclZOBs[/YOUTUBE]

"Sumo" begins to play over the PA system of the arena and the crowd can't believe their ears. The massive Yokozuna makes his way to the ring in black and white attire, a very serious and focused look on his face.

Yokozuna gets a microphone from one of the ringside officials, then turns and makes his way up the ring steps, walking along the apron and stepping through the ropes. He looks from side to side for a moment and then his music fades into silence, and now all that can be heard is the cheering crowd. Yokozuna brings the microphone to his mouth, breathing heavily for a moment into it before speaking.

Yokozuna: Ten years, it's been ten years since I've been away from the business. No WWE, no TNA, no Ring of Honor, no CZW, no JCW, no AAA, no independent shows, nothing! Not a signing of any type, no public appearances, no DVD's or books released of me, nothing! The most you've seen of me was on the roster of a video game, which was nice to see, but it hardly justifies my time away. Many of you, whether you're a spectator or one of the guys in this field of work, look at the wear and tear this leaves on your body and look at the sheer demand of it all and would consider such a long hiatus a vacation...well not me. I'm an Anoia, this business is in my blood, it's the only thing I know how to do, and each and every day I was away from this ring and away from you fans was excruciating. But I brought it upon myself. I foolishly trusted that one day Vince McMahon would call me up and offer me my job back, I foolishly trusted that Dixie Carter might see that I was a free agent and sign me to her company, I FOOLISHLY TRUSTED, that I was established enough that I didn't have to go looking for work, that work would find me. Boy was I wrong, and it's been a long decade.

The crowd began to chant "Welcome back! Welcome back!" as he took a brief moment to take it in.

Yokozuna: Thank you. But now ladies and gentlemen, thanks to UWF, I'm back! And if you'll notice, I don't have Mr. Fuji with me, and there's a reason for that. And that reason is this time around, I'm doing things my way, and I'm doing them alone as far as a manager is concerned! Now in my time away, wrestling has changed and it's changed a lot, and I'm not sure it's all for the better, in fact I know it isn't. But that's okay, because I can adapt, and you'll find I can quickly adapt because as far as I'm concerned, wrestling always has room for a 650 pound Samoan wrecking machine like me. This week is the debut of UWF itself, the very first Tuesday Night Turbulence. What better a time to make your debut with a company than its inception? This week I team with a man I've never tagged with before, Christian, to take on the Texas Rattlesnake and a man dressed as a sperm.

The crowd laughed at the way Yokozuna said that and the look on his face.

Yokozuna: As I said, the business has changed a lot. Honestly I'm not worried about the challenge ahead of me, because I don't know why I should take a man that doesn't take himself seriously. CM Spunk, you are making a mockery of this business, so I will be more than pleased to put you on the receiving end of the first Banzai Drop that I've delivered in ten years. Stone Cold, you're no doubt the toughest S.O.B. in the industry, but I have a competent partner so the odds are essentially two to one, and while I've seen you overcome odds like that before, it's not in your future when one of those two men is a 650 pounder. The name of the show is fitting boys, because there's going to be extreme turbulence when I get my hands on you. Next Tuesday night, it's deja vu all over again, and before the three count, you'll only hear one thing. BANZAI!

Yokozuna raised his arms into the air and posed for the crowd. Suddenly, the theme music of another one of the competitors began to play.​

 

[Slim]

TNT: 10/19/10 Slim vs. Edge

The tron turns on to reveal a man sitting on a leather couch. The man seems to be rather relaxed as he props his feet up covered in some very nice Air Jordan’s. He’s dressed rather casually in jeans and a white shirt. The glass table he propped his feet on are sitting on top of an authentic Persian rug. He has his shades propped up on his forehead as he looks forward with a smile.

Slim: Hello UWF world. And hello to you too Adam. It is none other than I. The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Icon. I am a man that has been sought after by many far and wide. I’m a wanted man in many federations all over the world which also included your employer WWE. But I knew what would happen if I went there so every time I would choose to decline their offer for more lucrative deals elsewhere. And from that I was capable of accomplishing a lot more success. Enjoy a lot more leisure time as the road life wasn’t as hectic as it is there. But all of that comes to a close. In the end none of that is going to matter because we are going to be coming to heads inside the UWF ring. This is a match that is being dubbed the best from the world against the best from some federation in the United States and barely visits other countries. Or perhaps that was a little too harsh.

The smile hasn’t faded as he comfortably rests his hands behind his head as he continues.

Slim: Now what you are going to be at Adam is a severe disadvantage. Because while I know pretty much everything there is to know about you… you know absolutely nothing about me except that which I choose to allow you to know. But being the masterful technician I am… I won’t reveal too much. But that’s no fun is it? Oh no it isn’t because I want to have fun. I want there to be a pretty even playing ground for you as well as me but there is only so much that I can tell you about me. There is only so much that I can reveal of myself but you’re an athlete of extraordinary prowess. I know that you’ll be able to adapt which is good because then that means that I won’t have to hold back too much. It means that I won’t have to play nice but instead I can just be as ruthless as I wish. Be as ruthless as I desire.

The smile starts to fade into a more serious look as he removes his feet from the table and place them on the ground. He places his hands on his lap as he starts to lean a little closer to the camera.

Slim: And that is where the danger lies Adam. Because I was able to adapt and acquire many skills. Many submissions in my day and one of my most dangerous maneuvers is also one of my most favorite to be able to connect with. The Lock Down. Let me describe it to you just in case I decide to use it against you because there is a very good chance that after it’s completed you will not have any recollection of it until after you rewatch the tape. What happens is I lock you in for one of the most vicious DDTs that you’ve ever experienced in your life. I know you’re rather skilled at delivering them but you lack that vicious streak to truly try to finish the fight with it. But then again there is no fun in just simply dropping someone on their head and ending it. Since they are pretty much out of it I decided to add a second part. Ever heard of the guillotine choke?

It’s a very nice submission hold that if left applied long enough you won’t be getting back up. Which would mean that you will be completely at my mercy. So Adam, the time is rapidly arriving. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. I’m expecting you to show up in fighting form… otherwise I’ll just have to really hurt you. Not because I have to. But merely because it’s something that I would take much pleasure and enjoy doing. UWF has no idea who they signed when I decided to join up. My accolades are known worldwide… but my sadistic nature… that will soon be put on full display. One match, one fight at a time. And you will be the first. Can’t wait. I can’t wait.

Slim leans back and starts to chuckle to himself as the feed is cut.​

 

[OJR]

As Yokozuna finishes his speech, the unmistakeable sound of glass breaking fills the arena, and the Texas Rattlesnake himself appears on stage.

Clad in a leather jacket and wrestling shorts, he receives a brilliant reaction from the crowd. He does the rattlesnake walk to the ring, before reaching the apron and then climbing onto it. He promptly grabs the top rope and leaves room for himself to enter the ring, but his reaction is still far from dying. Perhaps to drum them up more, he climbs onto the turnbuckle and opens up a can of beer. He pours it down to the delight of the crowd, before hopping down and turning to look at Yokozuna. He is then handed a mic, but before speaking he takes a moment to size up his large opponent.

‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin: Listen up to old Stone Cold for a minute Yokozuna. You said you’d been away from wrestling for ten years, and d’you remember who was on top when you left? Well how ‘bout I give you a clue. Stone Cold was! Next question, now that you’ve come back, who’s on top? John Cena? What! What! (this is the crowd by the way) Edge? What! What! Triple H? What! What! Stone Cold Steve Austin is! See, I may have taken a break or two in the past to let my back heal up, but this is me putting the World on notice that the rattlesnake is back, and I got my sights set higher than teaming up with some dumb ass bastard who thinks it’s funny to dress like a damn idiot. What! Yoko, I ain’t got no problem with you, but I think you’re forgetting one thing when you look at old Steve Austin. I may not have a competent partner, be a second generation idiot or even wear one of those goddamn diapers, but I’ll tell you what I do have. See I got my beer, and I got a right hand with your name on it. And when it’s done doing what it does best, you ain’t gone still be standing, and when you fall to the ground, you’re gonna wish that you weren’t such a damn heavy sumbitch’. What!

And then it ain’t gone matter if you got Mr Fuji, Christian or Hulk Hogan in your corner for christs sake, because nobody, and I mean nobody, is gonna stop me from picking up the win. And after that match, after Yokozuna realizes that Austin 3:16 means that I just kicked his ass, give me a hell yeah if you want me to stun that idiot who has the nerve to call himself my partner. Hell yeah!
Stone Cold drops the mic and waits for a reply, perhaps basking in the reaction he has received.​

 

[Brock Lesnar]

TNT 10/19/10: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

The arena sits in silence, with the fans muttering to themselves. Nothing happens in the ring, on the stage... until...

[video=youtube;gfv-ZlmGVlA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfv-ZlmGVlA[/video]

At the very second that John Cena's music is heard, the fans in the arena begin to get to their feet, cheering for their hero. Realizing they were about to be graced with his presence, they all turn to each other, jumping up and down, exclaiming their joy for the moment. It doesn't take long, and John Cena himself walks out from behind the curtains, and begins to jump around excitedly on the stage. Cena points towards a camera, before walking to the stage, stopping and staring at all of his fans. He takes a few fingers, and puts it to his forehead, standing tall and delivering his best Marine salute. Cena dramatically throws his hand down, and begins running down the entrance ramp, with the camera following him the entire way. Cena throws himself into the ring, sliding through the canvas easily. Cena enthusiastically gets to his feet, throwing Okay signs to the crowd. Cena grabs a microphone, and gets himself to the center of the ring, looking around the arena with a smile on his face.

John Cena: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages... the champ is here! Now, I know what you're thinking! 'John... you don't even have a title shot yet, let alone a Championship! Why are you calling yourself the champ?' Well, let me put it like this. When I walk through that curtain, when I step into the limelight, there's only one thing going through my mind. There's only one train of thought, one single mentality. that's being the best that I can be. When I lace up these boots and stand in this ring, I'm going to do with the mentality of a Champion. I'm going to do it, knowing that I have everything I ever dreamed of, right here in front of me. This business... no, this industry... is what I live for. It's what keeps me going, day in and day out. When the pain is too unbearable, that I want to sit and lie in bed all day... this is what keeps me going.

Cena walks around the ring, looking at the audience as he speaks, getting a kick out of being in front of the crowd once again. He doesn't stop, keeping his momentum going strong.

John Cena: Now I know it all sounds like one big cliche, but here in UWF... there ain't a damn thing different about it. I've got nothing to hide, nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Whether I'm going up against Chris Jericho, Yokuzuna, or even Stone Cold Steve Austin... I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep my passion going. That means kicking ass taking names, people! I'm here to fight! I'm here to make my name known in yet another company! And if it means taking out every single one of them boys in the back, you know that's exactly what I'm going to do. And with that being said... let's bring out Chris Jericho. Lets see what Chris has to say this time, lets see what kind of personality he's going to be bringing to the UWF table this time. Are we going to see an angry man in a suit? A lion that just can't be tamed? Or hell, are we going to see a washed up old has been, clinging onto his last hope? All solid questions... so lets get some answers. What do you say, Chris?

John brings the microphone to the mat, looking at the stage, waiting for a reaction from the one and only Chris Jericho.
​

 

[xXSlaveXx]

You think you know me..

[youtube]6pb4DGnzRSw[/youtube]

"Coming Home" hits the PA system as the crowd is sent into a booing frenzy. After a short delay, smoke fills the entrance ramp and Edge comes out from the entrance ramp with a cocky smile on his face , looking over at the crowd, who pops for the first time ever. He looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face, thinking it was going to be a fun turn of events. Edge poses and sets off his pyro before he walks down the entrance ramp, taking in the excitement and looking around the filled crowd.

Edge slides into the ring where he walks to the turnbuckle and poses for the crowd as he finally walks to the middle of the ring and picks up a microphone ready to address the audience.

Edge: I'M BAAAACK! I take it you guys missed me or something judging from the edge heads screaming for me at the top of their voices. Well that's alright because ever since I left that ditch of a company I've been hungry for some Rated R competition. I thought I'd never have that wish fulfilled but I was approached by UWF and after some negotiating I knew it was destiny that I joined. I mean come on, I've won championships in every freakin' company I've been in. Why not add let's say, ten more while I'm at it?

The fans begin cheering, enjoying his presence.

Edge: Anyway the real reason I came out here was not to address my return because I was going to save that for my match with Slim. However he decided that he was going to send me a little video package to try and scare me out, to try and intimidate me. Well that sure as hell didn't work and in fact I decided it was my turn to do some trash talking and disrespect the hell out of him!

A mixed reaction ensues, the crowd preferring Slim.

Edge: I don't care Mister Slim, you think you know me huh? Go ahead and tell yourself that but it ain't gonna work. Now whilst this "Lockdown" submission you've been boasting about does sound pretty impressive I'm not so sure I even needed to hear about it. You were right when you said I can pull off my own DDT'S and by god I'll sure as hell make an extra impact when it comes to taking you on. But there's one move of mine that seems to have eluded you...what was that again?

Edge begins grinning as the "Spear" banners are raised in the air.

Edge: Yeah that's damn right...the spear. Wrestlers that have joined this company have been taken out by the spear and I've done it so many times. People have gone through tables...not just ordinary tables I might add, I sent the "Hardcore Legend" himself, Mick freakin' Foley through a flaming table with that move! Slim you better know what you got yourself into pal, because I can't wait...for you to get your ass out here right here, right now.

Cheers sound across the arena, as the fans await the arrival of Slim. ​

 

[Andrew]

Christian's backstage as Josh Mathews bumps into him.

Josh Mathews: Christian, can I speak to you about your debut tonight?

Christian: Of course Josh, it's great to be here in this very brand new promotion, UWF. My loyal 'peeps' are out there waiting for me!

Josh Mathews: I won't be long, tonight you're teaming up with Yokozuna, what's your thoughts on having a partner who hasn't wrestled in ten years?

Christian: It doesn't matter who's new, old or inexperienced here. Yokozuna has wrestling in his blood, he's one who's sure to shake UWF up.

Josh Mathews: With that being said, CM Spunk and Steve Austin are your opponents..

Christian: Come on, a man wants to dress up as a sperm? This is sounding out to be like Hulk Hogan Celebrity Wrestling that went down the drain. Let's be a little realistic here Josh but... Yokozuna and I... we're winning this one for our 'peeps'!
​

 

[Prodigy]

I jizzed in my pants hits the PA system as CM Punk rushes down to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope and screams I just entered one big hole before grabbing a mic and begining to speak

CM SPUNK: You know Yokozuna bro' you make me freaking laugh. I mean what the hell are you? Trucks belong on the road not in a UWF ring. Seriously, do you want me to hand you an inhaler or somthin' cos boy I can hear you wheazin from a mile away, and that aint an easy feet espescially if your name is Andrew. Now you claim I'm making a mockery of this business, and I guess you have a point. But there aint' nothin' to mock considering the company has only just begun. So keep on with your crap you big tub of lard, atomic drop me all you like but remember one thing bro', I'm a god damn liquid so I ain't gonna feel a thing. Oh and one more thing, you know how erm' you play with your private parts to produce me? Can you even find your's?

The crowd laugh as Spunk catches his breath before turning to face a neutral area

CM SPUNK: And then we have Christian. Well what can I say, that guy know's a lot about the thing I enter because the damn fool is such a pussy. I mean what the hell is he doing? Thinks he's all cool and that just chillin' backstage instead of 'cuming' out. And he has what? Like thirty words to say? Man I thought he'd go all out with Two Thousand on UWF's weekly show, seriously the guys a joke.

Spunk the turns to face Austin

CM SPUNK: Look Austin I don't give a damn whether you stun me at the end of this match or not. You see at the end of the day I'm here for fun, I'm sick of people like Mike and Andrew crying when they lose or don't get a title shot. So go ahead and do it but at the end of the day, the only person who'll look stupid is you after the headlines read 'Stunned Sperm', yeah you'll certainly acheive a lot making someone give birth to a Blue son! But just remember this, although that CM Punk guy hates drinkers, women actually drink CM SPUNK!

Spunk smiles as he awaits a response....​

 

[Chris Dresdon]

Yokozuna:Well I didn't think I could find you any more comical and worthless, but then you came down to the ring. You honestly think that by coming out here and dishing out a few insults you've changed anyone's opinion? I don't care if you can body slam me using only one of your arms, you're still dressed as a sperm! But not only do you try to talk tough, you make innuendos too, which pretty much makes you the 2010 version of Val Venis minus the fanbase. What upset me the most is this though. Even though this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen in professional wrestling, and I hate to give you any form of brownie points, it's creative. So why is it that someone creative enough to think outside the box for their character couldn't be more original than making fat jokes at my expense? Is that honestly the best retaliation you could come up with? No matter, what matters is you're talking a little too confident to be in the position you're in. You might be a liquid that's immune to the sensation of pain, but that's not going to stop me from splattering you all over the mat and leaving you under the ring lights to crustify. Skin and plastic might protect you in the bedroom spunk, but there's nothing protecting you once Tuesday rolls around. Your confidence will be what carries you to that ring, but once you get there I'm going to remove you from the match in a manner you're probably familiar with, prematurely.

Yokozuna turned his attention away from Spunk.

Yokozuna:Now to you Stone Cold. You’re right about one thing, you’ve had a lot of success throughout your career, and many a wrestler’s star has failed to shine nearly as brightly as yours. But now that I’ve returned, that all changes, I’m snatching your star out of the skyline of the wrestling history books and crushing it like I’m going to crush your ribs when I hit you with the Banzai Drop. And when that happens it doesn’t matter how many beers you’ve had, you drunken idiot, because you’re going to go so comatose, not all the “Hell Yeah”-’s and “What”-‘s in the world can bring you back. You might not wear a diaper Steve, but you’ll need one Tuesday because when all 650 pounds of pent up aggression comes crashing down on you, right before you black out, you’ll shit yourself. What? You’ll mess yourself. What? You’ll lost control of your bowels quicker than a driver loses control of his car when he’s driving it in a rainstorm and it hydroplanes. What?

Yokozuna smirks

Yokozuna:And Christian, what is wrong with you? You’re supposed to hold up your end of the bargain and barely break a sweat when confronted about the whole upcoming situation. Is that what I have to count on Tuesday night? Is that who I have to tag out to if I’m in trouble? I’m better off wrestling the match myself then. The point I’m getting to is it doesn’t matter if you’re the Bionic, Alcohol Fueled Redneck the Toughest S.O.B., “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. It doesn’t matter if you’re the “Instant Classic” Christian. It doesn’t matter if you’re CM Spunk. I’m going to leave UWF’s first edition of Turbulence the winner, it’s going to happen. If I was teaming with Austin, it’d still happen. If I was teaming with Spunk, it’d still happen. If it was them three against me, or this was a triple threat, fatal four way, or gauntlet scenario, I…would still…win. And in two nights, you’ll see for yourselves, when I leap from one of these corners onto the body of my opponent below and you hear everyone in the arena scream one thing: BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​

 

[Dom]

lmao I'm a on commentary! fuck yeah!

I loved the show man, I really did. I had my doubts, but this proved them all wrong. Loved the show and I really hope this keeps going strong. Keep it up crew!

10/10